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| Supersonic Eye Openers to Sharpen Your Type A Smarts |
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Two Heads Are Not Better
“I can’t believe this. My direct reports scored me really high. My supervisors scored me low. This is confusing. I don’t understand.”
I run into various flavors of this two-headed Type A monster all the time when debriefing the results of the Tilt360 Leadership Predictor. Sometimes the direct reports score the person low while the supervisors score the person high. Other times, I see just the opposite.
Either way, it’s not good. The last thing you want is to be perceived as a two headed, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde leader.
So what causes this bizarre difference in perceptions? It usually stems from one of three things.
1. One group is looking at you and your actions through rose colored glasses and scoring you artificially high. Think of this like a favored son, favored daughter or beloved leader. No matter what you do, it’s perceived as good. This dynamic is more likely to occur when you and the person scoring you share a common bond such as the same viewpoint, leadership style or personality type. The danger in this type of situation is that overlooked gaps in your performance can cause train wrecks.
2. One group has much higher expectations for you than you realize. It’s difficult to jump over the bar if you can’t see it. Sadly, some supervisors will intentionally hide their expectations to ‘test’ you. Very bad practice, but not uncommon. The danger here is that poor communication wastes resources, hampers productivity and destroys trust.
3. You are behaving differently with each group. In my experience, this is the most common reason for widely differing perceptions. Sometimes you may be consciously showing up differently, such as when you knowingly play up to your boss to curry favor or when you band together with your direct reports to wage war against upper management. Other times, you are unconsciously showing up differently with each group. For example, maybe you are relaxed and upbeat with your direct reports while feeling on guard, defensive or uptight with your supervisors.
When you suffer from the two headed leader syndrome, it causes confusion, diminishes your credibility and prevents you from being fully effective with everyone you work with.
If this is happening to you, drill down and get to the root cause.
Not sure if this is happening to you? The quickest way to find out is to do a Tilt360 Leadership Predictor. Email me at kay@kaycannon.com and I’ll tell you all about it.
When it comes to your leadership character, two heads are not better than one.
What Most Type A Leaders Forget to Do
What are you forgetting to do in the hullabaloo of deadlines, distractions and demands that has the power to sink your ship?
You give direction.
You give feedback.
You ask for opinions.
You problem-solve.
You make big decisions.
You strategize.
What’s missing?
More than likely it’s asking for commitment.
Here’s the deal. Too often we skip right over that step and just assume because directions are clear and intentions appear good, that commitment will follow along like a good puppy. That’s dangerous.
Take the extra step and ask for the person’s commitment. Asking turns your assumption into an employee action. It’s like putting a diamond ring around employee engagement. It removes all doubt.
Barking for Trouble
“I corrected the mistake for her and told her I expected it would not happen again.”
The triumphant Type A manager leaned back in her chair and licked her lips like a satisfied lioness savoring the fresh blood after the kill.
“Did you ask for the employee’s commitment that she would not make that mistake again?” I gently poked the proud lioness.
The snarling roar lashed back at me loud and quick. “No! I told you I told her I expected it wouldn’t happen again.”
I decided to prod the beast with a bigger stick. “Did you ask the employee what – specifically – she was going to do differently in the future to prevent the mistake from occurring again?”
“Well… No. Why would I waste my time asking that question?! I told her I expected it wouldn’t happen again! She knows I was angry.” The queen of the jungle barked at my question with impatient irritation.
I needed to get her attention. Time to tap her on the head with a telephone pole.
“What have you done – specifically – to help this employee identify what went wrong, learn from the mistake and craft a more effective approach in the future so both of you are sure the mistake won’t happen again?”
The snarling face melted into silent puzzlement.
The big cat finally spoke in a tiny, sheepish voice. “I guess I haven’t done anything.”
Here’s the deal. When things go haywire, don’t fall into the Type A trap of barking orders. Instead, shift into neutral and ask powerful questions that uncover problems, find solutions, create accountability, align goals, engage people, empower individuals and affirm relationships.
I’ll get you jump started. Put these questions in your Type A toolbox.
What factors do you believe led to this problem?
What role do you feel you played in creating this situation?
What would you do differently in the future to prevent this situation from occurring again?
Do I have your personal commitment that you will do these things?
What can I do to help you be successful in the future?
Don’t bark. Ask.
Don’t Take the Bait
There it is. Dangling in front of your nose like a scrumptious morsel of self-indulgence. Taunting you with its seductive aroma.
Revenge.
Righteous indignation.
Blistering anger.
Backstabbing retaliation.
Intimidation.
Sarcasm.
Criticism.
Arrogance.
Cold indifference.
Passive aggressive sabotage.
What’s your poison of choice when someone pushes your hot buttons?
Make no mistake. Nothing makes a smart and talented Type A superstar look like a donkey’s backside quicker than swallowing the bait, hook, line and sinker like a clueless schmuck.
Here’s a secret.
Some very crafty Type A’s know how to push your buttons on purpose. Yep. The sneaky devils intentionally attempt to sabotage you by plucking your feathers. They’ve figured out that if they can get you all steamed, frazzled and parading your patootie, they’ve got the upper hand. They’ve got power over you.
Lose your Type A cool and you’ve lost the Type A game.
Make no mistake. When someone pushes your hot buttons, you’ve got a choice in how you respond. You can go to the dark side or you can stay calm, cool and collected.
Who’s pushing your buttons like cotton candy at the county fair?
Wake up and smell the bait.
Rock the Pricklies
“The biggest concern I have is…” The consultant’s voice faded into a nervous cough and an uneasy silence hung between us on the phone.
“Well, I don’t know how else to say it. Every time I’ve met with her, she has been very….uh, I guess you could call it… prickly. It’s like she’s on guard or thinks I’m out to get her. It’s very odd and disquieting.”
Are you giving people the pricklies?
Let’s get real. Being prickly is not the way to influence people and win friends. If you’re aspiring to leadership positions – like the super smart Type A executive in this example – you’re going to get there a lot faster if you mix accountability with a heaping portion of warm approachability.
Approachability makes people more comfortable sharing information with you. This is critical when collecting market intelligence or heading off potential problems.
Approachability also makes you more likable. The more people like you, the more they say ‘yes’ to what you’re asking. Creating employment engagement depends upon getting to ‘yes’.
Consider this. If accountability is the meat and potatoes of executive leadership, approachability is the secret sauce.
Tips to Rock the Pricklies
1. Identify what triggers your pricklies. Are you caught in a constant state of snarlies like a neurotic chihuahua? Or is your thorny demeanor tied to certain events or circumstances? For example, do you get testy when you feel rushed and overwhelmed with too much to do? Do you get abrupt and short when you feel like your time is being wasted? Do you go into a Dirty Harry funk when your introvert self is forced to interact with crowds of people for hours on end? Find the trigger.
2. Create a plan to preempt the pricklies. Now that you know what turns you into a porcupine, devise a strategy to cushion your quills. For example, if you know you can only handle five hours of client meetings in a row, schedule a break between the afternoon meetings and the dinner events. Hit the gym, veg out or do whatever will recharge your batteries.
3. Spill the beans. If you have a tendency to go into prickly mode without being aware of it, give your co-workers a heads up and ask for their help. There have been many pressure cooker days when I suspected a case of the pricklies was going to be hard to avoid. On those days, I just owned it up front with my staff. I simply warned them what might be coming down the pike and gave them permission to let me know if I turned into a bear.
4. Take five minutes to re-focus. Before you go to a meeting, take 5 minutes to clear your head and do some deep breathing. This well help you mentally and physically shift gears.
5. When meeting with people, put a warm and genuine smile on your face. If it feels forced or unnatural to smile, think about something that really makes you happy.
6. Look for the positive in every situation. It’s there. You just have to see it.
Rock the pricklies!
Leap from Expert to Executive
Are you a turbocharged, Type A individual who has worked long and hard to become an expert in your field?
Is your head a vault stuffed full of subject matter details and specialized tools?
Do you have your expert’s eye locked on an enticing spot in the executive suite?
In my work helping high potential superstars become highly effective executives, I’ve learned a secret you need to know.
Experts make lousy executives.
Now before you start arguing loud and long – which, by the way, is a common Type A expert trait – let’s take a closer look.
Type A’s usually look for the quickest route up the ladder of achievement. More often than not, that means lasering in on one area and mastering all the nuances. You learn to think an inch wide and a mile deep. You become the ‘go-to’ expert in your fishbowl. Knowledge becomes power. Answers become control.
Pretty soon, you hit the expert’s ceiling and begin to hunger for a new challenge. The greener grass in the executive suite starts calling to you. With your long track record of trophies, the executive doors swing wide open. You strut in with your expert’s panache and glittering toolbox.
Here’s where so many Type A experts fall flat on their frustrated faces.
What worked so well for you as an expert, doesn’t cut the mustard as an executive. Instead of thinking narrow, you need to think wide. Instead of collecting knowledge, you need to disseminate knowledge. Instead of being the ‘go-to’ person, you need to be the supporting cast. Instead of having the answers, you need to ask the questions. Instead of doing it, you need to delegate it. Instead of diving into the details, you need to dance with the details. Instead of looking down, you need to look around.
Let me sum it up for you.
To rise as an expert, customize and specialize.
To excel as an executive, galvanize and generalize.
Are you ready to climb out of your fishbowl?
Fixing People Problems Is Hard – Bah Humbug!
I heard it again last week from a chief operating officer….
“We’ve got a real problem with this director, but I’m uncomfortable talking to him about a 360 assessment and executive coaching. Our company has never done anything like that before. I don’t want to upset him. I need to go real slow and be real careful. You know, it’s really hard to fix people problems.”
Bah humbug! It is not hard to fix people problems. Don’t let your discomfort be an excuse for postponing performance improvement.
I’ve got to rant about this all-to-common executive smoke screen.
Let’s be clear. Yes, there are some people who will not improve their performance regardless of how much you try and how long you wait. But those people are the rare exception. Those people are not bad employees, they are bad hiring decisions. They shouldn’t have gotten in the door in the first place. Those are the screwballs that don’t need performance improvement. They need to be kicked to the curb ASAP. No sense keeping deadwood or whiners. It only drags everyone else down.
That being said, the vast majority of your employees want to do a good job. But that’s not all. I’d be willing to bet that your managers, directors and vice presidents want to do better than good. They want to excel.
They only thing they are missing is honest communication and the right tools to help them be their best. Problem is… they can’t do their best if you (The Boss) are dragging your feet around a performance problem, afraid to give them meaningful and effective feedback or reluctant to offer them the special expertise and tools they need because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings.
You are their boss. If they can’t count on you to be their champion, then who can they count on?
Make no mistake. Being the boss isn’t always easy. You need to have the courage to speak candidly about tough things. You must open your eyes to see their greatness before it sprouts. You must provide the necessary tools to help them grow into that greatness. But, most of all, you must BELIEVE and invest in their ability to grow, change and evolve.
Don’t be a weeny. You’ve got the title now BE THE BOSS.
What performance improvements have you been postponing?
Type A’s: 3 Business Reasons You Should Stop Trying So Hard
If you are a tough-as-nails, “I-can-take-anything” Type A who pushes yourself and others over the edge, keep reading.
Type A individuals are prone to blowing off the early warning signs of internal collateral damage. That’s a little like ignoring the fire alarm because you think you’re too cool to burn.
Internal collateral damage includes feeling stressed out, frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, impatient, anxious and stretched too thin. It also includes insomnia, depression, high blood pressure, weight gain and heart attacks.
Here’s the deal. You have the ability to stop internal collateral damage before it stops you. Internal collateral damage is created when your stress response system is stuck in the ‘on’ position. Learn to turn off your stress response system and you can conquer internal collateral damage.
Unfortunately, too many Type A’s mistakenly wear their internal collateral damage like rusty war medals.
Listen up, Don Quixote, persevering with high levels of stress, frustration and exhaustion does not make you tougher, smarter or more sexy. It just makes you old, tired, cranky, fat, unhealthy and wasteful.
Yep. Internal collateral damage wastes important resources. Not only are you frittering away your happiness and health, you’re flushing critical business resources down the drain.
John Medina, author of Brain Rules, reveals these stressful statistics:
77% of the workforce reports being burned out.
In 1990, worker depression cost businesses an estimated $53 billion with lost productivity representing $33 billion.
Sleep deprivation costs U.S. businesses more than $100 billion a year.
Statistical analyses from many studies indicate that stress causes companies to lose between $200 billion and $300 billion a year generating up to $75 billion of red ink per quarter.
Wow. Businesses lose $200 billion to $300 billion a year because of stress.
If that’s not enough to convince you to toss the rusty medals, try this.
Here are three hard-core business reasons you should put the kibosh on internal collateral damage:
1. Internal collateral damage destroys an employee’s effectiveness.
As internal collateral damage revs up, your brain powers down. Executive reasoning skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking, creativity, learning, memory and decision-making all decrease. This impacts both the quality and the quantity of the individual’s work.
To make matters worse, when the frustrated, stressed out or exhausted individual is responsible for managing other people or leading important initiates, the company’s risk exposure soars as the employee’s effectiveness drops. An unhappy, stressed out boss can become a weapon of mass destruction quicker than a possum can play dead.
2. Internal collateral damage sabotages employee satisfaction and engagement.
Think about it. When you’re feeling exhausted, frustrated and impatient, you are rarely feeling happy and satisfied. Why should a business care if their employees are feeling happy and satisfied? One reason: satisfied employees are much more likely to be engaged employees. They get more done and tend to stay in their jobs longer.
Prolonged internal collateral damage creates burnout. The last thing you want is for your most talented people to walk out the door in a flame of frustration.
3. Internal collateral damage metastasizes into external collateral damage.
The natural tendency for a Type A top performer is to react to internal collateral damage by trying harder. They take their strengths to a toxic extreme in order to overcome the resistance caused by internal collateral damage. Sadly, this usually results in bulldozing, blaming, micromanaging and crappy communication.
What this all boils down to is this. Internal collateral damage destroys people, productivity and profits.
What would happen to your bottom line if all of your employees learned how to stop internal collateral damage?
Flying with a Leak in Your Fuel Tank?
You know how it goes. While everyone is buckling seat belts, cramming their carry-ons into the overhead compartment and fighting over the arm rest, the dreaded announcement is made.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got a maintenance issue that we’ve asked the crew to check out. Our take-off is going to be delayed until we get this fixed. Your safety and comfort is our top priority. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before we can be on our way.”
Drat!
During the pre-flight check, some thing-a-ma-jig begins flashing a yellow light. Not wanting to risk a crash, the pilot calls maintenance to fix it. Everyone sits and waits for the glitch to be patched up.
Isn’t it amazing how everything comes to screeching halt at the hint there might be a problem – even a small problem – in the plane’s sophisticated operating system? Why is that?
“Duh!” you say. “Only an imbecile would want to be 30,000 feet in the air in a plane that’s functioning at anything less than 100%!”
Too bad we don’t pay as much attention to our own internal warning systems. If we did, a whole lot of costly top performer crash and burns could be avoided.
Here’s the deal.
One of the most destructive kinds of collateral damage is internal collateral damage.
Internal collateral damage is the kind that occurs inside your own operating system. Early warning signs of internal collateral damage include feeling stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, impatient, angry and exhausted. These are signs that you are operating poorly.
“I’m so tired, I can barely think.”
“I’m so angry heads are going to roll!”
“I never have enough time to get everything done. I feel so overwhelmed and stressed out.”
“I’ll show them who’s boss!”
Sound familiar?
Here’s the naked truth about internal collateral damage.
Most top performers are Type A individuals who are so driven to achieve that they ignore, deny or tolerate the early warning signs of internal collateral damage. They work 50, 60, 70 or even 80 hours a week without giving a second thought to how they feel physically and emotionally.
They take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’…. Or so they think.
In reality, ignoring internal collateral damage is like flying a plane with a leak in the fuel tank. It’s just plain stupid – pun intended.
As your internal collateral damage increases, your executive reasoning skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking, creativity, learning, memory and decision-making all diminish.
In the presence of internal collateral damage, your work performance, health and quality of life begin a subtle downward slide.
Internal collateral damage continues to build up until…BOOM! You implode, go nuts or do something stupid.
I bet you can guess what happens next.
Tempers flare. Heads roll. Balls are dropped. Heart attacks happen. Divorces pile up. Companies sputter.
What began as internal collateral damage now ignites external collateral. Pretty soon, you’ve got a raging inferno of problems that could have been avoided if only you had seen the writing on the wall.
What warning signs of internal collateral damage are you ignoring?
Lisa Dee: Power Off the Scale
“We had to dig the chickens out of three feet of snow yesterday.”
I chuckle at the surprising vision of this Type A power player shoveling snow while the chickens crow.
“I built my first company with a $5000 loan from my parents. I built it up to a $24 million dollar company.”
With Lisa Dee surprises are the name of the game. But Lisa’s story is not the typical Type A tale of big bank accounts and big egos. It’s about much more than tarnished trophies.
From Singapore to Johannesburg to New York, this Type A serial entrepreneur has called many places home. Today, Lisa is snuggled in Vista Caballo, her remote Colorado ranch.
“Vista Caballo is company number three. I ask myself, ‘How do I want to do this one differently?’ I did a pretty good number on myself with the first two.”
Surrounded by the beauty left by the recent blizzard, Lisa begins to tell me how she traded her $24 million trophy for digging out chickens, mucking stalls and unlocking other lives trapped in success.
Lisa Dee cut her entrepreneurial teeth in the highly competitive advertising industry. Along the way she and her team weathered 9/11, ran offices in New York, Dallas and San Francisco and developed a highly successful business model that was emulated by others across the industry.
There’s no doubt she’s a Type A top gun.
I ask Lisa about her own personal experience as a Type A. She pauses and I can feel her diving deep into herself – probing, weighing and considering her answer. This is not a woman who answers quickly or casually.
When the answer arrives, it is punctuated with power and passion. As she speaks, it is easy to see Lisa running that $24M company with ease.
“The first part was just acknowledging that I was a Type A. In reflection, that was the first insight I had into the fact that maybe not everyone was wired like me. I was an A+++ personality. It was such a natural way of being that I wondered to myself, ‘What other types of people are there?’”
You can hear the sincere puzzlement in her voice as she remembers first encountering the novel idea that not everyone was like her.
I hear that so often. Type A’s rarely realize they are Type A’s. They are too busy, too driven and too focused to see who they really are.
“Honestly, the results I got were so positive, I never considered the fact that I was Type A one way or another. It was just a label that didn’t have any meaning to me.”
It’s easy to overlook the Type A warning signs when your eyes are locked on the positive results. We’ve all been down that road a time or two.
“As the stakes got higher, that’s when I started really feeling there was something happening. I didn’t recognize the collateral damage. There started to be schisms, conflicts and also…” her voice trails off, “a wonderful progression. It was confusing. I brought in consultants to help me understand what was happening with my executive team.”
I’m reminded of how hard it is to see the collateral damage when you’re the one creating it. You can’t read the label if you’re inside the bottle.
“The consultants told me – in front of my entire executive team – that I worked at mach speed with my hair on fire. Now, I was very comfortable working that way. It wasn’t a problem for me. On a Friday afternoon, I’d list 17 initiatives I wanted in motion and then wonder, on Monday morning, ‘Where are the results?’. My sense of time was different. I didn’t have weekends. I loved my work. I loved multi-tasking.”
Mix Type A power and passion with a compressed sense of time and high expectations and you’re stirring the fire with a stick of dynamite. It’s just a matter of time before it goes boom.
True to her courageous Type A self, Lisa decided to go the extra step. Little did she realize the doors that would swing open.
“I decided to put myself up for anonymous review by my entire team. I got wonderful feedback like, ‘you’re amazing, incredible, we love your vision, we love your inspiration’. I also got this… ‘But what do we do now? How do we make it happen?’ I realized then that if I was going to write in the sky, I had to build ladders to get there.”
There’s silence on the phone now. Something’s cooking.
“It was a very painful experience. It was heart breaking.”
The pain creates wrinkles in Lisa’s voice as she explains.
“After I sold my companies, I discovered there was much more collateral damage than I realized. If I had known, I would have changed it! My team and my company were my heart and soul. It was excruciating to learn the extent of it. I’m dedicated to being my best. I want to hear what’s not working.”
Isn’t it interesting that we can’t hear the message until it rips the door off the hinges?
Lisa shifts back to the present with conviction.
“I will build this company differently!”
This company is Vista Caballo. It’s Lisa’s third company and a playground for passion and power.
Vista Caballo, an experiential learning center located on a ranch in Dove Creek, Colorado, is where you find your true sense of self. It is where highly accomplished Type A’s unplug, reflect, re-calibrate and re-boot. Lisa’s horses are your teachers. The gorgeous Colorado countryside is your muse and your soul is a blank canvas.
Be warned. It’s not for the faint-hearted or the partially-committed. This isn’t where you sit poolside sipping margaritas while you fiddle with your iPhone. Nope. You’re going to be working in the dirt – both literally and figuratively.
Vista Caballo unlocks your full power and passion so you courageously step into who you are really meant to be. The transformation is positive, profound and, most importantly, permanent. Just the kind of challenging adventure that Type A’s love.
I ask Lisa what advice she has for her Type A brethren. Her answer slices through my question like a Ginsu knife.
“You’ve done it! Acknowledge you’ve done it. You can keep on the linear path. Achieve more. Make bigger creations. But… at some point… you have to recognize you’ve done it.”
The last words are hammered hard.
“I strongly encourage you to take a side-step on your life’s journey. A non-linear path reveals gifts. You can always go back to the linear way of doing things, but a non-linear life will enrich and expand your comfort zone. The linear life is where Type A burnout occurs.”
She stops and I feel her heart and head weaving words together.
“Once we Type A’s can do something with ease, we ask ourselves, ‘Now what?’ When that happens it’s time for us to expand our life. When you find power and passion on a non-linear path, you learn what life is really about.”
It’s clear that this woman who traded her $24 million trophy for digging chickens out of the snow is comfortable free-falling into life.
“The non-linear path is very humbling. The linear experience prepares us for the non-linear experience. The non-linear path is where real power emerges. The linear experience is like practicing piano scales. At some point you have to get off the scales and just play.”
I think about the thousands of Type A’s who are playing a monotonous tune day-after-day as their power and passion fade away.
“Take a chance! If there’s little inkling that there might be a different way to do something, take a chance. You can always go back. You can always say, ‘oops’. I can guarantee that you’ll be richer for that try. You’re going to open a doorway in your life that you’ll never want to close. Open the door. Take one step. It’s time to get messy.”
Lisa’s lesson is clear. Once you take your Type A power off the scale, life changing possibilities appear.
A note to my Type A tribe: Lisa Dee and I are joining forces to rock your Type A world. Stay tuned for an exciting announcement.
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It’s time to wake up and smell the truth. Like gas guzzling relics, traditional Type A’s are becoming passé. In the good ole’ days, with their steely-eyed focus and turbo-charged tactics, Type A’s could dominate the game by slicing, dicing and sacrificing. That pricey party is over. Award-winning executive coach Kay Cannon offers a funny insider’s look into the secret world of top performing Type A individuals and redefines how these talented and smart superstars can get great results without collateral damage.